**GUYS. I am so sorry. I meant to post in three, but I was hindered to like..five or six..Bah.
I hope you all like it, and pleeeease comment. I'll post again soon. It's mostly free verse with an end rhyme scheme. Have fun with the analysis and such.
The black of pride.
Black is the pride,
that covers our eyes
and plagues us till the death
of honor and rest.
It grins and it shines
of the lies and guile,
that we all covet;
unknown to all our lives as forfeit.
Dark is the throne,
of the men ruling alone.
Over a dominion of truths untold,
a sight of loneliness; bitter and cold.
Its grin dazzles bright,
a terror hidden in light
that shatters the hope of peace and order,
with blood carnage.
Black is the pride,
that spills only the lies,
of nobility, honor, and gall.
But gullible hope is first to fall.
For those that dared to dream,
a world unravelled at the seam
is all that would allow us to comfortably lie
with the black that is our pride.
It was a good one, Mister Ian.
ReplyDeleteThey flow of the poem seemed a bit off to me at times, but not terribly.
It may have also been the way I was reading it too, but, I did enjoy the poem and its dark essence. Very Ian, very clever.
I'd like to see this become a set, a color for each one of the seven sins, just a thought though.
ReplyDeleteI also like the difficulty that this poem presents in reading it, or should i say comprehending it. It is akin to having that blackness blinding us from understanding. With lines like "...unknown to all our lives as forfeit." it's no simple task to decipher.
Interesting use of personification, the grin of pride being bright, while pride itself being dark. I'm guessing this is to say that while pride might seem to be a good, light, attribute, in reality is bad, dark, and only under a guise.
A very interesting piece that I'd be curious to see more like. I only have trouble with the last stanza, and it seems like it gave you trouble to, as if it was put together to fit a rhyme...I think you could have done better.